From the bottom of my broken heart

Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
All my joy through my tears
All my hopes through my fears
Did you now, still I miss you somehow


From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love
I never knew love'
Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said "please stay.
GIve our love a chance for one more day"
We could have worked things out
Taking time is what love's all about
But you put a dart
Through my dreams through my heart
And I'm back where I started again
Never thought it would end


From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love
I never knew love'
Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

You promised yourself
But to someone else
And you made it so perfectly clears
Still I wish you were here


From the bottom of my broken heart
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
You were my first love
You were my true love
From the first kisses to the very last rose
From the bottom of my broken heart
Even though time may find me somebody new
You were my real love
I never knew love'
Til there was you
From the bottom of my broken heart

"Never look back," we said
How was I to know I'd miss you so?
--Britney Spears

What would you do when a relationship fails?

This is a dumb question of coz.

Ok, who do you blame?

Yourself or the other party?

Note: When I talked about relationship, I dont mean it between Adam and Eve only. I am talking about all sorts of relationships you can think of. (Say friendship, family-ship etc)

Of coz BGR is the hardest to mend and get over. (I would presume.)

In L-O-V-E, I guess I could be count as lucky.

I have never not fall outta love yet.

Though it doesnt mean that I never got my heart shattered, but those were the guys that I was never together with in the first place.

Disclaimer * Saying 'those guys' is not a quantitative figure.

I've seen people getting into numerous relationships.
Some may be flings,some not.
But each never lasting long and they grew weary of love.
They thus become a group of what we I call the 'sicky pessimist'.
Then why bother to get into a relationship again when you know you are the type that cant handle well?
Why not wait for the right one then jumping into a relationship or say wait till you know how to handle?
Or simply stop getting those guys/gals that are similar to the exes and get your heart break again?

Nah...All rational but illogical words of unwisdom.

I've seen people engaging into a fairy tale story for months and years, which in the end is only a lousy ending which the lousiness is comparable to movies like ..... like..... (Darn, I can only think of...) Planet of the Apes (when I never watch it before.)

Such failure of relationships often come like a bolt of lightening to me.
It's like only yesterday I still see you guys holding hands together and tomorrow the chemistry turns into a really bad experiment.
*KA-BOOM*

So my question is who do you blame in situations like these?

To make ourselves feel better, to get over the whole sticky situation, to move on with life.
Of coz it is only natural to :



Correct bo?

We still cry. That stands a good portion of Kleenex.

We still do things that hurt ourselves physically. Be it not eating or over eating.

We throw/burn/return all the things that were once a pair to solo. But trust me, I bet there is still one thing at least you keep in memoir.


Do you believe in remaining as friends after breaking up?

This is one of the common-est topic b/w gals.

My answer is a firm N.O.
Unless time has wash everything away.
Even so,I guess I would never want to meet or see someone of my past in my present or future.
He can be someone I dream painfully all the time but I would never want to see him again once I decide it's over.

I dunno how some people did it.
It's either:

1)Lying!
2)Never really love before.
3)Has a heart as wide as the ocean.

My explainations are still the same as I would gave previously.

That is the person you loved, shared so many good times with, hugged with, kissed with.
Be back to friends?
Do you kiss your friend?(I mean K-I-S-S-I-N-G.)
Both of you had done all the things that friends wouldnt cross that line.
After the breakup, erased everything instantly and be back as friends?

Who are you trying to kid?

I dunno.
Maybe you can really do it.

For me, be it whose the dumper/dumpee..once it's over, get outta my life.
You are the many beautiful lines in my story.
But as I cont'd to flip fwd, I dont wish to see/hear ur prescence again.
For better or worse,you & I may be leading...it's no longer your or my right to know about.
NOT AS A FRIEND coz I wont acknowledge you back as my friend.
You are an EX, not friend.
Lovers cant be revert one status, for me

I may regret, may really want you back deep inside or/and vice versa.
But I dont like to procrastinate nor like to drag and paint messier pictures.

Dont appear in my life again.
You have my blessings in the dark.
But you cant come back to my life.








Well..having say so much,it is only what I thought I should do.
But you and I both know that the heart and mind are often not in unison in affairs like this.
=/
Well,it is just blahings.










Right now,I faced a broken relationship for months.

She may bloody hell never reads my blog anymore.
She may never wanna hear from me nor want to be heard anymore.

For one stupid misunderstanding that I will never bow coz I never think I am wrong in that, I am appalled how things turn up to be like this.

I often asked how is this gonna measured up for our years of friendship.
It's not even like the most complicated and messy situation that happened between us.

It is nothing but a simple and stupid thing.

Is it worth it?

Why wont I give way,you may ask.

If it's a mistake of mine, I would do anything to earn your forgiveness.
If it's not, even it's my family, I wont do anything beneath my dignity/pride/ego or whatever you can name it.

And the sad thing is when I see her photos, I am still very sad.

I miss her alot.

For many nights (that I lost count.) I dreamt of us.
Each time me wanting to recouncile but you never gave a chance.

I still yearn to hear your news.
I want to know how are you doing, how's life etc.

In front of my colleagues and friends, I still call you my friend.

I wont and dont wanna wishfully think that you would actually do/feel the same.

I would never forget on my birthday, your message is actually one of those that I really want to see.
Be it just a one sentence greeting or mutiple texts.

You couldnt have forgot, you couldnt have.
Even you have,there are never lack of days that you can make up for it.

I am not yearning your blessings on that day but just a msg that's simple enough to lemme know we are still friends.

No.
Not a single one since that 11th May 2005.
A date that I painfully marked down.

Do you still blame me?
What is it that you care about?
The money or the boy?

I can gladly gave both to you but for what!
It will be only recognised as acts of hypocritisims and arrogance.

Tell me for what, for why that I should start giving way again and again all the time.

Each unhappiness misunderstanding between us each time only remind me of those previous ones.

I dont deny that I perhaps have my chances too.

So we called it quits?









Towards you,I have endless regret and pain.

Given a chance, do you think we can go back?

After so long, do you think we can be back to how we were?

My rational thoughts would perhaps remain status quo.

Like how I would treat a broken relationship with a guy perhaps?

Seeing each other again would only bring us awkardness and perhpas my (and yours, if any) pain.

I really miss you.
You just never see the tears that I shed inside my heart.

I always think that the unseem tears are much sorrow-er than those that excreted outta eyes.

Like how I would treat *..........*, my blessings for you would be in the dark.

I pray that you live the life you want and be happy and safe always.

I dont see you again ,perhaps not ever in my life if this is how fate decreeded.

But I wont forget you.

I always want to see you but I would realised too that this dream is a nightmare in reality.









I wanna be happy too.
But I am the melancholic type.
I cant live my days bright and gay with no sense of sadness kept in me.
That is not me.
Sadist or not, I feel something is missing if I dont feel like that sometimes.
It's just like my solitude.
I may enjoy companions and hates loneliness.
But sometimes it is nothing but necessary for me.







Never look back, we said.
How was I to know that I miss you so?